Tuesday 4 December 2007

Free newspaper conspiracy

Look here; this London Lite and TheLondonPaper business - this is all very well in terms of providing commuters with something to pass the time on their journey - but I say, take a deeper look! Now, what is really going on here; hundreds of foreign nationals are being paid a pittance to distribute these free papers to commuters, who invariably discard them in the bus and train carriages after they have dispensed with them. The subsequent litter is then collected by other foreign nationals, again on minimun wages...THIS IS MADNESS.

And if we examine the content of these free papers; why yes, it does pass the time whilst enduring a tube or bus journey - but what are these papers saying? Celebrities' latest escapades and excesses, their indignities and failings being put on display for all to see like a medieval beggar displaying their sores and wounds...soundbite politics with no analysis...overpaid football popinjays throwing tantrums and diving hither and yon...a ghastly compendium of drivel.

And what other message lies within the pages of these papers? CONSUME. Keep "up to speed" with this weeks' "must-have" fashions, musical artists, gadgets, books, interior design, kitchen products. After all, one would not wish to be regarded as out-of-touch...

Besides, the economy depends on it. Do your duty, consume for Britain!

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